you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
