What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
