I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
