if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
