i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
