he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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