Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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