Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
