everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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