im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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