The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
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