Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
