I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
