i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
