I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
