At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
