Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
