So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Randomize
