Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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