You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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