How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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