How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
