I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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