I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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