it hurts more in the daytime
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
