life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
