If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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