My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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