What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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