I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
