i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
