Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
