Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
