it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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