I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
