So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
