Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
