Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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