Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
