you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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