I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
