She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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