Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
