The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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