ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
