the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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