She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
