my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
