I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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