I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
