You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
