we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
