And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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